[[Hello->Hello 2]]
<img src="images/lines.jpg"/>
<div class="right">[[Hello?|Hello]]</div>
<img src="images/lines2.jpg"/><div class="centre">[[Hello?|Shudder Hello]]</div><div class="centre"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> Can [[you|Good Morning]] hear [[me?|Good Afternoon]]</div><div class="centre">(text-style:"shudder")<br /><br /><br />[[Hello?|Hello?]]</div>
<div class="centre">[[Good Morning |My Name Is]]</div><br/><br/><br/><br/>
<div class="centre">[[Good Afternoon|My Name Is]]</div>
<div class="centre">[[My name is ...|Sorry]]</div><div class="centre"><br/><br/>I’m sorry [[to disturb you|distrub]], to have [[to tell you|tell]]</div)I’m calling from your bank,
your local tax office,
your mortgage broker and
[[your electricity supplier|Congratulations 1]].that you have been involved in an accident
that wasn’t your [[fault|Congratulations 1]]
There appears to be a problem
[[with your broadband|compensation]]
[[your loft insulation|attitude]]
[[your relationship|Debt]]
[[your dog|overdue]]
and
[[your reputation|parcel]].
You've got an [[unpaid debt|Buttons]][[You've got an undelivered parcel|Buttons]][[You've got an unhealthy attitude|Buttons]]You're long [[overdue|Buttons]]
<div class="centre">[[Congratulations!|Pension]]</div>office: ./music/ring_tone.mp3
I’m sorry.
If this isn’t you [[press 1|press1]]
If you don’t recognise this [[press 2|press2]]
If you would like to hear this again [[press 3|press3]]
[[Stay on the line please|Authorised]]<br/><br/><br/><br/>
[[Are you still there?|Authorised]]<br/><br/>
[[Are you paying too much?|Authorised]]
<div class="centre">I am authorised to give you a refund,
peace of mind,
a life changing [[injury|Authorised2]]</div>
<div class="centre">I’m authorised
to come round there
and collect what’s [[mine]]
</div>
<br/><br/> Is that something you might be [[interested|home]] in?Will you be at home [[later?|manager]]
My manager can protect you from viruses,
uncertainty
and the vagaries of the stock market.
She can detect unusual activity.
Would that be of interest to you?
If yes [[press 1 now|press1now]]
If no ...(after:5s)[Hold the line]
(after:6s)[Hold your tongue, hold the front page]
(after:7s)[hold on this could get messy]
This is a once in a lifetime opportunity,
to renew your guarantee, your insurance and your acquaintance.
Do not delay
Confirm your identity [[Now|Identity]]
<div class="centre">Please type your name in the box below ...
(force-input-box:"==========XXXXXXXXXX==========",1,"Hello?")
Thank you
To hear this message again [[press 1|First Hello]]</div>
I’m calling from your pension provider
(after:2s)[and the police]
(after:3.5s)[and the BBC]
(after:4.5s)[and the health service]
(after:5.5s)[and the prize draw department]
(after:7s)[[[Hold the line|problem]]]You're wanted for [[questioning|Buttons]]
There appears to be a problem that was not your [[fault|List]]<div class="centre">
<img src="images/switchboard.jpg"/>
Number Withheld
(after:2s)[by Craig Stephens]
(after:4s)[[[Hello?|First Hello]]]</div>